tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69174188721561869952024-03-13T04:44:23.255-07:00Playing with Fire in PhoenixDebhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-22722380574247628772015-02-05T20:26:00.000-08:002015-02-06T20:39:43.191-08:00What to do when what you're doing is not what you're meant to doI have struggled with this for a long time-wishing I was doing something other than what I am doing, or have to do, or am afraid to do. How to get to the place where I choose how to spend my minutes, hours and days without worry for the the payoff or the outcome. And then I obsess about what I could do, should do, can do, want to do. Then I worry about which choice I make, is it right, is it sensible, is it the best use of my time? Before I know it, the day, week, year is gone and I am still spiraling with these thoughts, this decision, that cannot be made with a rational mind.<br />
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Perhaps what needs to happen is a release of expectations, and allowance of what will happen. Life cannot be forced to be what it should be, but allowed to happen as it should happen, with a healthy dose of love and creativity. To acknowledge the bumps as lessons, and enjoy the rest of the roller coaster ride, twists and turns, hills and valleys, with laughter and anticipation. Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-71780843927920421342014-09-22T20:06:00.000-07:002014-09-22T20:06:05.216-07:00Goodbye Sweet Friend<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I know this blog is really a hit or miss recording of emotions and events, and I use it as such. Today's post is a tribute to Jewly. We said "Goodbye" on Friday, 9/19/14. <div>
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Jewly came to us nearly 15 years ago. She arrived frightened, unsure and wary of this new family. Over time, she came to accept us, but was never a cuddler, kisser or lap dog. Instead she was a silent witness to our day to day lives, her inclusion was natural and complete, yet she stood off to the sidelines most of the time. She was not terribly affectionate, yet loved to have her ears, neck and belly rubbed, and was very vocal in her enjoyment. Jewly appeared confused most of the time, earning her the nickname LSD (Little Stupid Dog), said only with love. I think she was more cat than dog, </div>
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One of her favorite things to do was chase cats. I don't know what she would have done had she caught one, but was fun to watch. She also liked to sit or lay in the driveway and watch the world go by. And sniff. And sniff. And sniff. Jewly's nose rivaled any hound around. It was hard to walk her for all of the sniffing she did. I'm surprised she had any skin left on it, as we would have to pull her along if she found something she liked. And she usually did, kitty crunchers are plentiful here. </div>
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When she was younger she could run around the yard, up and down the stairs, and loved to find her way out from under a blanket. Always leading with her nose. Peanut butter was her favorite treat, she could smell it from outside. She was a master at "Begging for Biscuits". </div>
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The past few years were hard on her. We moved a few times, and Jewly did not like change. Her shoulders and hips started giving out, and she didn't enjoy her walks, and then her food. Her beautiful brown eyes got cloudy, and she couldn't hear the refrigerator open. I'm sure you can guess the rest. </div>
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Jewly, I will miss all of this and more. Thank you for teaching me how to be a better human. </div>
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Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-65146513142563036182014-06-19T20:59:00.000-07:002014-06-19T21:04:03.153-07:00Endings ...and BeginningsDo you know when to let go? When it's time to be finished with a project, person or thing? How do you end the relationship, business, job? <br />
Even when it's obvious that something needs to change, it sometimes (or most times) is hard to pull the plug, cut the cord, close the account. I think most of us have difficulty with change. The familiar is comforting. We know what's expected and how to do it, as well as the probable outcome. We might not like the process or the result, but somehow still feel safe.<br />
I think feeling sad about letting go is normal. We must allow ourselves a little time to grieve over lost potential, because that's really what it's all about. We fall in love with the potential of a situation. When things don't go as we had hoped we must admit to ourselves (our biggest critics), that we have somehow failed at the endeavor, even if the ending was our choice. <br />
I struggle with these feelings now, as my art and business are evolving in a different direction. I feel stuck and uninspired. I also know that this feeling will pass. I must allow myself to feel it fully, then let it go. <br />
Because I know at the end of the road, another path will appear. I must be patient with myself, and let things happen as they must. <br />
But, it doesn't make it any easier.<br />
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The beauty of the bouquet is not diminished by the different flowers; instead, it is enhanced by the individual beauty of each blossom.</div>
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Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-15210237188676765482014-05-29T21:16:00.000-07:002014-05-29T21:16:27.171-07:00Change is the only thing we can count onJust when you get comfortable, along comes change, whether or not it was invited. Even if it's needed, desired, even requested, it's never exactly what is expected or envisioned. Not quite the right order, but the waitress is gone and there is no sending it back. Once the Universe gets wind of change, it carries it along eagerly and mischievously.<br />
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Except that you don't want to play. We want our old favorite, even if it's unhealthy or dangerous. Like a grilled cheese sandwich; crispy, buttery, melt-in-your-mouth delicious, never mind the calories or cholesterol. Call the waitress, get rid of that salad!<br />
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But, while you wait, why not take a little taste, see what all the fuss is about. The tomato is sweet, greens are refreshing and the dressing is tangy. Interesting. Maybe you should do that thing, walk that way, ride that wave. Maybe the weather is different, but in a not-so-bad kind of way. The people speak slowly, but their insight is refreshing. And the city-well, if you could taste it you might say it was tangy, in an interesting kind of way. . <br />
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Maybe the change means riding the wave, doing that thing, walking that way. Maybe this was all meant to be part of it<br />
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from the very beginning, even if you still want the grilled cheese. <br />
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<br />Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-6502876690797139102014-05-27T08:41:00.002-07:002014-05-27T08:41:58.118-07:00Another SummerHere I am again, another summer in this furnace of a city. Already I feel my positive energy slipping away and looking for cooler climes, listening for the whisper of waves. I should be accustomed to this by now, my twelfth year in this unforgiving place, yet I am not. What will it take for me to get through these midyear months? The thought of escape, or the practice of mindfulness, putting one foot in front of the other, or knowing that each minute passing is one I can bear? I will try to appreciate what I can, and know that I <i>can</i> get through, and remember those places that nourish me. <div>
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Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-24884178002702387872013-12-03T09:46:00.001-08:002013-12-03T09:46:20.555-08:00Giving Tuesday-Make It Count!The holidays tend to bring out the gift-giver in many of us. Sometimes that's a good thing, other times the money spent on trinkets and such should have been put to better use. Today we have an opportunity to satisfy the urge to give and see a tangible result. <br />
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Please read this:<br />
<a href="https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/79c3/christianhannahshandicapvanfund" rel="nofollow nofollow" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/79c3/christianhannahshandicapvanfund</a><br />
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I challenge you to make this kid's dream a reality. I bet you'll feel pretty good afterwards. It's always the little things that make the biggest difference. <br />
Peace-<br />
<br />Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-19689709852021294492013-11-04T07:31:00.000-08:002013-11-04T07:32:32.238-08:00DisappointmentI suffer self-inflicted disappointment when I hold others to the same standards I expect from myself.<br />
I must allow others to follow their guides to discover where, when and why their journey takes them. In doing this, my path is revealed, with mountains and valleys to be explored.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-47359832553612468292013-10-31T21:41:00.001-07:002013-10-31T21:41:58.580-07:00Decisions...I've never been one to make decisions easily or quickly. Sometimes I ponder and over-think, and am no closer to a decision after a week or even a month than I was initially, which is very frustrating. <br />
There are those that say it's easy to decide if you listen to your heart, or feel that it's right in your gut. Personally, I think that sometimes the rumbling in my gut is gas, and my heart might be in arrhythmia, neither of which will bring me closer to the right decision.<br />
Logic is also a method of making decisions; however most are not black and white, what might be right for one aspect of the issue often is at odds with another side.<br />
Another camp suggests meditating or "sleeping on it". When I make that attempt, I lie awake for hours and am too tired to decide what to have for breakfast, let alone make any kind of life-altering choice.<br />
Talking to people, getting other perspectives and opinions might be helpful for some. Personally, it only serves to confuse me as I then tend to look at my problem with not only my eyes, but the eyes of everybody with whom I have discussed the issue. <br />
So, is the glass half-full or half-empty? Let me think about it.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-41294020156589885032013-10-28T08:44:00.000-07:002013-10-28T08:45:10.009-07:00Remember-You are smarter than you think<br />
and stronger than you seem. -Pooh<br />
<br />Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-12068701688435254332012-05-05T21:45:00.000-07:002012-05-05T21:45:16.494-07:00New studio, fresh viewpointThat which you focus on becomes reality. How many times have I heard these words, yet paid little heed-until now. <br />
I have wanted my own creative space for as far back as I have been creating-not the kitchen table, or the garage, or part of a guest room or, or, or.....<br />
I finally have it, in the least likely of places-at least for me. An old motel/apartment building/??? in a transitional part of town has become my paradise, my respite, my creative space. And it is a place where my imagination can take flight or not. It is a place of work and dreams and hope. And it just might be my summer salvation, as it is cool enough to take the heat of the creative gears turning-but the best part (at least for me) is the A/C!<br />
Wish me luck with this.....Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-72691341595518644792011-10-05T22:49:00.000-07:002012-05-05T21:45:17.946-07:00When enough is enough<div>In a few days I will have lived in Phoenix for nine years. Nine years of yearning to be someplace else, to be someone else, to have a different life. Nine years spent wishing and wasting, nine fewer years left in this life cycle. Nine years closer to what? Nine years further away from an idyllic memory which maybe wasn't so idyllic after all. Nine years spent in a fog of desire, fear, sadness with a few cloud breaking moments. </div><div>Nine years of learning a new way of living, a new art form, a new landscape, a new climate. Nine years of new friends, new experiences, a new love affair with a new town, a new desire to make a difference in a place with which I share few common interests. Nine years of wishing sand was surf, heat was humidity, summer was shorter and air was cleaner. </div><div>Nine years of relentless heat, soul searching, self realization and reality checks. Nine years older, nine years wiser, nine more years of dreams and desires, fulfillment and disappointment. And now, one day closer to life altering choices and decisions. Minutes closer to destiny and design. Deadlines loom, as well as love, life, laughter and hope, always hope. </div><div> </div>Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-2690699019007603842011-06-18T21:16:00.000-07:002011-06-18T21:47:13.864-07:00Looking for AnswersI haven't posted in awhile, life is sometimes like that, don't know what to say and even if I did, not sure if it's worth saying. Starting to feel the summer funk, it broke 100 again today. So I guess I'm feeling sorry for myself.<br /><br /><br />Then I read my previous entry. What happened that I lost that peacefulness? How did I misplace the feeling between then and now? Where did it go and how can I find it again?<br /><br /><br />Does my geographical location really make that much of a difference in my psyche? Or is it a convenient excuse to deny responsibility for my own thoughts and moods? If I am able to leave this place, will I be any happier in a different location? Or will this haze envelope me wherever I go? How much of this is self-imposed?<br /><br /><br />I have a friend who spent a year searching for home, and like Dorothy, found that home was in her own backyard. We carry home with us in our heart, or so the story goes. If this is true, where can I find the key to unlock my home? Why do I have this insatiable urge to keep searching? Why am I so lost?<br /><br />I think it's time for yoga again, and maybe a trip to Flagstaff. Clear my head and let the answers flow to me through my higher self. Time to let go again.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-82685968920546599402011-01-04T13:48:00.000-08:002011-01-04T14:25:10.161-08:00Happy Ness<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_DAFlH-uTH7I/TSOePUDPdZI/AAAAAAAAAJ4/vcBr-nRQ3X8/s1600/jamie%2Band%2Bme%2B2010.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 96px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 128px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558460351022855570" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_DAFlH-uTH7I/TSOePUDPdZI/AAAAAAAAAJ4/vcBr-nRQ3X8/s320/jamie%2Band%2Bme%2B2010.jpg" /></a><br /><div>I am happy. Did you hear that? I am Happy!!!! This is something which has crept up on me and surprised me. Those of you who know me know that I have not been Happy living here in Arizona. As a matter of fact, its been one long "Poor me" for the past 8 years. I have been kicking and screaming since the day we moved to Phoenix, and rarely have I come up for air. The closest I came to not being unhappy was the summer I spent in Flagstaff. But when I came back to Phoenix that September, I crashed and burned, and was in worse shape than before I left.<br />I don't really know what happened to me. I just know that I finally feel at peace. Maybe I stopped fighting so hard. Maybe I decided to go with the flow instead of swimming upstream. Maybe I realized that I am in charge of my own destiny, and feeling sorry for myself won't get me anyplace that I want to be. Maybe during this forced healing period more than just my hip is healing. In any event, I won't question it, I won't analyze it, I won't deny it. I will accept it, and all the gifts that come with it.<br />Along with peace of mind also comes gratitude. Or, maybe it's the other way around. Maybe gratitude precedes peace of mind. Gratitude for the ability to feel happiness. Gratitude for my long-suffering husband who has listened to my constant complaints, and tried his best to help. Gratitude to my children for doing what they could to pull me out of my well of self pity. Gratitude to Jewly the puppy dog for listening to me rant and rave, and still being happy to see me. And gratitude for the ability to recognize that I am no long unhappy.<br />Maybe happiness is just the right combination of gratitude and peace of mind, with a sprinkle of creativity added for flavor.</div>Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-48853931155615570572010-09-28T07:25:00.000-07:002010-09-28T20:27:47.783-07:00Hiking Beyond the Equinox<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_DAFlH-uTH7I/TKKxoEQchaI/AAAAAAAAAJM/GIBuczUrVpQ/s1600/autumn+flagstaff.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5522171395005253026" border="0" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_DAFlH-uTH7I/TKKxoEQchaI/AAAAAAAAAJM/GIBuczUrVpQ/s320/autumn+flagstaff.jpg" /></a><br /><div>The autumnal equinox has just slipped by. Fall is slowly approaching yet is not quite here. The aspen leaves are tinged at the tips with the yellow gold they are so famous for, and the ferns are losing their summer luster as if they, too know the mild days of the season are behind them. The whisper of the gentle wind is slightly breathless as if waiting for the deep slumber of winter.</div><br /><div>The aspens follow me with their unblinking eyes, as if to say"Stay on the path, don't wander too far lest you lose your way. Gather what nourishes you, so that you may stay comfortable beneath winter's white blanket. Slow down, conserve your energy and be mindful of the changing seasons."</div><br /><div>Yet, amid the ferns and wood, freshly blossomed wildflowers thrive. Their days are numbered, to be sure, but they reach toward the warming sun and drink it in, for they are living in the moment. </div><br /><div>I, too am beyond the third moon, heading into the season of change. Will I hold onto the lush green of summer only to watch it turn brown in my hands, or will I stand back and allow the leaves to change into the gorgeous hues of autumn. Will I hold on to what was, or look forward to what may become? Will I discover the wildflowers among the fallen leaves? One thing is certain. I will not rest under winter's frozen blanket until all of the leaves have fallen and flowers picked, for I intend to arrange these lovelies into a colorful bouquet for those who would come after. </div>Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-41598410508471889002010-09-23T21:51:00.000-07:002010-09-23T22:01:39.329-07:00Don't you forget about meMy posts have become fewer and farther in-between. Sometimes life is like that, we start something, then put it aside for awhile to rest, like bread dough, only to have it rise up again bigger and better. Don't know if this is bigger or better yet, but thought I would try to pick up where I left off.<br />The apartment isn't so bad, but it is challenging making beads in the tiny bedroom with a hothead torch. It forced me to go back to the basics and concentrate on form and technique. I like that-sort of like a refresher course. I don't like the fact that it is as hot if not hotter than my garage studio. <br />I am still trying to find my muse again-to be inspired to create something new-to enjoy the process. It's really hard to work 40+ hours weekly and come home with any energy at all, let alone creative energy. But like attracts like, and if I continue to complain, I'll complain even more.<br />I am happy to have a place to work, and to have a job which pays me well enough to continue to try to be some kind of an artist. So I guess I will act "as if" and maybe I'll begin to feel it. Then maybe , just maybe, my muse will return.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-43415469158232671162010-07-06T21:04:00.000-07:002010-07-06T21:23:55.207-07:00Fun on the FourthI know this is a little late, but I thought I would share my wonderful holiday with you. Since my Flagstaff daughter went to Florida this week, she graciously lent us the use of her apartment in one of my favorite places, Flagstaff! The weather couldn't have been better, the skies were a clear blue without a hint of cloudiness, and a gentle wind caressed me as we hiked along the Kachina Trail near Snowbowl. There was a tinge of smoke in the air, as the fires of the past few weeks smoldered, though they were contained. The town was not very crowded, fewer people than last year. I think it might have been due to the fires.<br />We took the dogs, Jewly and her grandnephew Buddha. Both of them appreciated the break from the heat, and had plenty of energy to walk around town with us, and beg shamelessly if somebody wanted to pet them. Buddha is not crazy about being on a short leash, but it's better than a lawsuit if somebody were to trip over him. Jewly just sniffed her way around, like always. <br />This little trip was a welcome respite from a week in the heat of Phoenix. Summer is my least favorite time here, and this past week had been challenging. Someone broke into my car and made a real mess while I was at the vet with Jewly, who has been sick from the stress of moving. The culprit smashed my window in broad daylight! The glass company promised to fix my window by early afternoon, but never showed up until 5PM. By that time I was more than a little peeved, and unfortunately took out my anger on the poor guy who was only trying to help.<br />Once I stepped back from the situation, I realized what a creep I was. It wasn't the repairman's fault my window had been shattered, nor was it his fault my dog was sick. I think I lashed out at the first person unlucky enough to be in close proximity to me. <br />Note to self: "listen before you speak, think before you act."Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-49221584934319520412010-06-27T19:33:00.000-07:002010-06-27T19:46:46.030-07:00Less Than 3 Weeks, and Counting!We are going to Oregon this year for our vacation. This is something I've wanted to do for a long time, and we finally have the chance to get out of this heat for 8 glorious days! We will fly into <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">Medford</span> on July 16, and try to see as much of the western side of the state as possible in a week. Our itinerary includes <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">Medford</span>, <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">Ashland</span>, Salem (Art Fair, Yeah) possible Portland and the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_3" class="blsp-spelling-error">Marrekesh</span> restaurant, Grants Pass, Astoria and other coastal towns, and Crater Lake, of course. This is the thought that will get me through till then-It rains there!<br />This is also a hunting trip, sort of. Hunting for that elusive place to call home. The place to work and play and dream and live. The place that will tell me it's time to retire these wandering ways and give my attention to living in the present. The place where I can set up my studio and really work. <br />Or, maybe this trip will lead me someplace else. Maybe, like Dorothy, all I have to do is click my heels 3 times and say "There's <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_4" class="blsp-spelling-error">no place</span> like home".Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-31938380541302600062010-06-20T20:59:00.000-07:002010-06-20T21:10:20.810-07:00Home Sweet ApartmentI haven't lived in an apartment since my early 20's. It takes a little getting used to, but I guess it's OK for now. I have no attachment to this place, though I have put out my glass and will hang my pictures. I like the large closets, and have even arranged the spare room to serve as a makeshift jewelry studio. The only thing I won't be doing here is making the beads. Fortunately I have found studio space to use. It's not as convenient as walking outside, but it will do for the time being. <br />This is the transition period. The time to decide. The time to listen to my intuition and follow my heart. It is not the time to get attached to places, things or situations, but it is the time to let things be as they will. Good will come if expected, and the life I imagine will be.<br />In the meantime, I will enjoy what is. I am fortunate to be able to do this, to work and save and wish and think and believe. I believe some call that magic.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-53409755727203496962010-06-10T06:15:00.000-07:002010-06-10T06:29:58.243-07:00This blog is aptly namedI know I said I would never do it again, but it seems that this summer I will really be "Playing with Fire in Phoenix." Yup, here for another summer. Not happy about it. Not sure if I can make it through. Don't even know where or if any glass will be melted, or any art made. Seems like things spun out of my control this year, and I have to learn to let go.<br />Sold the house (good), could not find another (bad), could not agree on a place to go (bad), ended up in an apartment (bad), but it does have a pool (good), except who even wants to go outside when its 110 (bad). Add up the goods and the <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">bads</span> and you can see where my mindset is. Big surprise.<br />Last year it was so exciting moving into an apartment in Flagstaff. The air was clean and fresh (when there were no wild fires), the mountains were cool and green, the glass was just waiting to become something beautiful. It seemed a summer of unlimited possibilities. Going outdoors was a given, who could possibly waste the beautiful weather and scenery? I could walk to Jamie's, the Campus Coffee Bean, and the grocery store-even at midday! I could bike to downtown, the library, the hiking trails. The surroundings inspired me, and each day was something to look forward to and live fully and completely.<br />Fast forward to the present. Anybody living in Phoenix will understand that if it's not done outside by 6AM, it's not going to get done until the next morning. But this is my challenge. Will I come out the other side of this summer intact? It's <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-error">anybody's</span> guess. I'll keep you all posted.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-18254562667282205502010-04-01T19:59:00.000-07:002010-04-01T20:09:03.476-07:00It's April Already?Where has this year gone to? It seems I blinked, and it's spring and seriously close to summer. I think I have become what I didn't really want to be. I have been working non-stop since December. Working for pay, not working as in creating. I miss that part of me. I thought that I would be able to keep that part of me going, but I feel so depleted. I feel that I have nothing left to give.<br />How can I find my muse again? Do you have any ideas for me? The glass is calling, the ideas are there, but the energy isn't. I need Flagstaff to help me heal.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-3722871721346848772010-01-26T18:42:00.001-08:002010-01-26T18:52:28.936-08:00Hello AgainHi to all! I know I have been MIA lately, no jewelry, no blog posts, no "nuthin". Was starting to feel bad about it until I read Kim Miles latest blog posts <a href="http://kimmiles-takingthelongwayhome.blogspot.com/">http://kimmiles-takingthelongwayhome.blogspot.com/</a>, and I realized I wasn't alone. Sometimes the creative nature needs downtime to refresh and renew. I hope that's what is happening to me.<br />Those of you who have been reading my blog know that I had a tough time coming back to Phoenix after my idyllic summer in Flagstaff. Who knew I would crash and "burn" like I did. It was really hard coming back, and even harder to create good work. I just wasn't inspired. Then I took a new job, leaving friends and familiarity behind. Not only did I feel like a fish out of water, but I also felt guilty about not creating.<br />Nothing has ever been helped by will be helped by that! So, it is comforting knowing that others go through this too. And, eventually I will feel the urge to create again.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-2139003714651162252010-01-05T20:24:00.000-08:002010-01-05T20:30:30.036-08:00New Year, New JobI know it's been a long time since I've written. Much has happened. I have a new job, which I am enjoying, and the Christmas season was very good for Deb's Glass Designs. I am still working on orders received then. I think it's because most of my work is sold on Biddingforgood.com, which is a clearinghouse auction site for non-profits. Purchases made on the website benefit the non-profit of your choice, and you get to select from a vast array of merchandise, travel, tickets, etc. It's worth a look.<br />Promise more to come soon.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-18448010663427960912009-11-22T19:11:00.000-08:002009-11-22T19:19:40.948-08:00It's been that long?I really can't believe it's been over a month since I last posted. How time flies, especially at this time of year. Once Halloween comes and goes, before you know it, it's Christmas and then tax time! Which, of course, is so NOT my favorite time of year. Just seems to remind me how quickly time passes, and things change, and life goes on, and I get older. <br />Guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself. Today I officially became an empty-nester. My youngest daughter, Keri, has moved into her older sister's apartment. Don't yet know if it's permanent or temporary, as she moved because her sister purchased her first home. She may or may not be back once the lease is up, but I'm thinking she might enjoy this new found freedom and responsibility. <br />I never did move into any place on my own, unless you count Flagstaff this past summer. Maybe that's another reason I enjoyed it so much. I hope Keri enjoys her time as much as I loved mine. Maybe she will find my muse, who is still missing. <br />Have fun Keri, and know you are missed. but I am happy for you.Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6917418872156186995.post-77862139620626087742009-10-23T19:26:00.000-07:002009-11-04T19:06:58.965-08:00Time for ReflectionIt's been a very long work week. Usually is this time of year. It's exhausting, but encouraging because I know that if I work hard enough now, I just might be able to get back to Flagstaff next summer. I know, I know, I keep talking about where I'm going instead of where I am. I think that it's because I'm doing some deep sea diving so to speak, some soul searching and introspection.<br /><br />I really enjoy reading introspective books. I'm reading one now by Martha Beck, <em>Finding Your Own Northstar, claiming the life you were meant to live </em>. It's meant to be a compass or a tool to find out what makes your soul sing, what you are meant to be doing. Not just work, but life. I finally had an aha moment when I read the part about remembering your happiest memory, what you were doing, how you felt. It's not something I will share just yet, but it did put a smile on my face (no, not that kind!). <br /><br />It's good to feel a smile that comes from the inside out. It's been awhile since that has happened, and I promise myself I won't let myself go without this feeling that long again. I know what I must do to get what I need, now to take those steps. Wish me luck!Debhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14030745866606089700noreply@blogger.com0