I have struggled with this for a long time-wishing I was doing something other than what I am doing, or have to do, or am afraid to do. How to get to the place where I choose how to spend my minutes, hours and days without worry for the the payoff or the outcome. And then I obsess about what I could do, should do, can do, want to do. Then I worry about which choice I make, is it right, is it sensible, is it the best use of my time? Before I know it, the day, week, year is gone and I am still spiraling with these thoughts, this decision, that cannot be made with a rational mind.
Perhaps what needs to happen is a release of expectations, and allowance of what will happen. Life cannot be forced to be what it should be, but allowed to happen as it should happen, with a healthy dose of love and creativity. To acknowledge the bumps as lessons, and enjoy the rest of the roller coaster ride, twists and turns, hills and valleys, with laughter and anticipation.
3 days ago