Disappointment

I suffer self-inflicted disappointment when I hold others to the same standards I expect from myself.
I must allow others to follow their guides to discover where, when and why their journey takes them. In doing this, my path is revealed, with mountains and valleys to be explored.

Decisions...

I've never been one to make decisions easily or quickly. Sometimes I ponder and over-think, and am no closer to a decision after a week or even a month than I was initially, which is very frustrating.
There are those that say it's easy to decide if you listen to your heart, or feel that it's right in your gut. Personally, I think that sometimes the rumbling in my gut is gas, and my heart might be in arrhythmia, neither of which will bring me closer to the right decision.
Logic is also a method of making decisions; however most are not black and white, what might be right for one aspect of the issue often is at odds with another side.
Another camp suggests meditating or "sleeping on it". When I make that attempt, I lie awake for hours and am too tired to decide what to have for breakfast, let alone make any kind of life-altering choice.
Talking to people, getting other perspectives and opinions might be helpful for some.  Personally, it only serves to confuse me as I then tend to look at my problem with not only my eyes, but the eyes of everybody with whom I have discussed the issue.
So, is the glass half-full or half-empty? Let me think about it.

Remember-You are smarter than you think
                   and stronger than you seem. -Pooh

New studio, fresh viewpoint

That which you focus on becomes reality.  How many times have I heard these words, yet paid little heed-until now.
I have wanted my own creative space for as far back as I have been creating-not the kitchen table, or  the garage, or part of a guest room or, or, or.....
I finally have it, in the least likely of places-at least for me.  An old motel/apartment building/??? in a transitional part of town has become my paradise, my respite, my creative space.  And it is a place where my imagination can take flight or not.  It is a place of work and dreams and hope.  And it just might be my summer salvation, as it is cool enough to take the heat of the creative gears turning-but the best part (at least for me) is the A/C!
Wish me luck with this.....

When enough is enough

In a few days I will have lived in Phoenix for nine years. Nine years of yearning to be someplace else, to be someone else, to have a different life. Nine years spent wishing and wasting, nine fewer years left in this life cycle. Nine years closer to what? Nine years further away from an idyllic memory which maybe wasn't so idyllic after all. Nine years spent in a fog of desire, fear, sadness with a few cloud breaking moments.

Nine years of learning a new way of living, a new art form, a new landscape, a new climate. Nine years of new friends, new experiences, a new love affair with a new town, a new desire to make a difference in a place with which I share few common interests. Nine years of wishing sand was surf, heat was humidity, summer was shorter and air was cleaner.

Nine years of relentless heat, soul searching, self realization and reality checks. Nine years older, nine years wiser, nine more years of dreams and desires, fulfillment and disappointment. And now, one day closer to life altering choices and decisions. Minutes closer to destiny and design. Deadlines loom, as well as love, life, laughter and hope, always hope.